Vaguely Live Radio

I don't know what to write here anymore; it's Alex, it's Jimmy, it's the same old shit and laughs.

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Just a short treat for Alex. I'm sure it will be enjoyed by all though. (I didn't write this by the way. That would be weird)

Jimmy.

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Longer! Yay!

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Woo!

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VLR is back to being high-quality and funny again!

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"It's like we've heard of this thing called podcasting and we've just thought 'we'll try that' and every week we forget how to do it again."

Jimmy has really bad audio in this episode, so we had to cut out a lot more than usual. Normal service will resume next week.

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Fuck, this was hard work. I spent all night editing it, and then all of Jimmy's audio mysteriously disappeared, so I edited it again. Anyway, you're welcome.

0:00 - Intro
1:05 - Shirtless Men
2:08 - I'd Buy It Again
6:25 - Feature Tombola
9:29 - Pottermore
13:30 - Kinder Egg Update
17:33 - Emails
21:38 - Foreign Accent Syndrome
25:46 - Topic Roulette/Outro

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Thirty minutes of irreverence! I hope you like it. But it's free, so don't complain if you don't.

0:00 - Intro/Sync Clap
1:30 - Kinder Surprise
7:49 - Pot Noodle Attack
9:41 - Defying Gravity
10:44 - Birds Build Nests
11:22 - The Monkey Infinity Test
13:16 - Olympic Overpreperation
15:33 - Milkshake Racism
20:03 - Addicted To Eating Bricks
22:16 - Friendly Spam Emails
23:52 - The Last Meal Of Texas
25:53 - Honest Genocide
27:37 - Feature Tease/Outro

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Thanks so much for still loving this show, we love it too

Sorry for the length, we recorded an hour but a lot of it just got cut.

0:00 - Intro/Back To The Way It Was
1:36 - iPhone Habits
3:25 - Twitter/Literal Spice Girls
8:12 - Sugarspicegirlbabes/Rita Walters
10:45 - UFOs
11:41 - "On my way to work"
12:59 - The Credit Crunch
14:09 - Google Street View
17:30 - Jade Goody?
17:47 - Puppet News
19:28 - Outro

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For anyone missing the show, there's a Facebook group called Viva La VLR which you guys can join, and if/when we do a new show we'll let you know on there as well as through this site, along with any new VLR-like projects me and Jim work on if we do I'm also working on launching loads of VLR t-shirts and other merch (a pigeon with a foot and a red line through it, for example ~_^) so I'll let you guys know about that!

Thanks again so much,
Alex

This episode can only be described as a puppet-palooza <3

Thanks so much guys for listening and not being mad at us for our sucky schedule :p

00:00 - Intro/Last One For The Moment
01:06 - Felt Face
02:33 - Ernie And Bert
03:50 - Children vs Adults
06:48 - Puppets Eating Human Food
07:38 - Life! Death! Prizes!
08:59 - The Official Start Of The Weekend
09:43 - Sausage Roll Saved My Arm
13:03 - "Oh what am I doing here?"
13:24 - Standing Naked
14:07 - Jokes People Don't Get
15:49 - Puppet News
19:36 - Thank You/Outro

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Two things.

1) I went on a spur-of-the-moment holiday for a week, but I finished editing VLR on the plane. I can't upload it till I get home, so you'll hear it on Tuesday, October 21st, the day I get home. (I should be sleeping off the jetlag so be grateful :p)

2) I read your comments on my last post and guys - I'm not doing it without Jimmy. If Jimmy's the reason we can't do VLR, then we can't do VLR, and I find it completely missing the point of the show to suggest we do it any other way. This is not MY project, it's one we share, and without him that's that. On the up side, I take your resistance to accept the hiatus as a sign that the show's entertaining and great and that you love it, which I'm of course very happy for <3

Actually, one last thing. The episode only came out at twenty minutes. I'm gutted, but it's a funny twenty minutes.

Sorry again for keeping you waiting - though if you still care at this point, you're never gonna let it go. xD

Alex

Child sex crimes covered in the first three minutes - this might be the best episode we've ever done <3

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Naked Pictures
1:54 - Glam Rock Pedophile
3:24 - Teen Pop & Musical Sex Euphemisms
9:17 - Alarms In Dreams
15:13 - Chips And Kebabs
17:54 - Alex's Boring Jedi Dream
20:21 - The Coolness Of Happy Days
23:26 - Gaming Addictions
28:56 - DulcoEase Stool Softener
29:48 - Jimmy's Stickam Show/Outro

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Today's VLR day, which means I like to roll out of bed at about eleven or later, chill on my computer for a bit and casually wait for Jim to come online at midday so we can start the show.

I woke up this morning at 9:57 to the sound of typing.

Speedy typing.

I'm a very fast typist and I was confused. There's only me and my mum in the house - who's typing?

I concluded that it was one of those ghost riders; you know when you play a racing game and a ghost appears showing you what you did last time, so you can see if you can beat your previous record? I figured the typing was from the last VLR recording we did and I had to beat myself.

Then I realised it wasn't typing, but my mum carrying hangers, which were clattering together.

Went back to sleep.

-Alex

This was submitted to Jimmy on YouTube, and it's absolutely brilliant, taking audio clips from both VLR and our YouTube videos and making a whole new episode out of it <3

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LOya9jz8jWE

Me: "If you haven't got any material from your trips to Portugal and Wales, I'll be very surprised." Jimmy: "Right. Um ..."

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Nice To Get Away From It All
2:07 - Puppeteer Paedophilia
3:59 - Mental Foot-Tapping Old People
5:21 - Just Start A Band, Fuck
8:15 - Cheating Currency and Bailiff Bears
11:14 - Unconventional Chavs and London Racism
13:49 - The Alan and John Show
14:43 - Stuff Magazine Screenshots
16:37 - Reminiscing
18:48 - Alex Can't Haggle
22:40 - Two Mhairi Stories
23:32 - Children In Restaurants
25:40 - Cigarette Fellatio/Outro

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Struck by apathy but struggling through for a whole thirty minutes - would you have it any other way?

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Backless Dresses
2:47 - New Xbox
6:21 - Alex's Drinking Story
12:37 - Random Email Of The Week
15:39 - Amsterdam and Facebook
21:19 - Old Drivers
23:11 - Demon Eyes
24:11 - Soaps
29:07 - Mhairi's Shoes

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Last week I went to Amsterdam, and Jimmy had to undergo an operation, so we couldn't record the show. When Jimmy told me this he said, "if you want I'll post a blog on the VLR site so people know." I made the mistake of thinking "sure, you'll definitely remember to do that" and now, a week on, my channel's filled with "WHERE'S VLR RAWWR" comments.

So, I've sent Jimface an email and as soon as he lets me know when he's free, we'll get something new out to you guys ^_^ Sorry to keep you waiting!

Alex

"It's not our fault if we're from Glasgow and Muddy Waters is the nicest drink in the world."

Mhairi and her cousin Gillian would like it to be known that they're NOT too poor to afford food. They were annoyed that I "told the VLR world that we were poor".

They're not poor.

xDD

-Alex

The new series is here <3

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/A New Beginning To Radio
1:32 - Jimmy's Drunken Habits
4:15 - Dreaming And Drinking
6:24 - Bus Decorum
8:08 - Local Spider-Man
12:18 - Carrier Bag Consumption
15:01 - Duck Feeding
17:00 - The Masturbate-a-Thon
24:30 - Gymmy
27:33 - Father's Day
33:24 - A Bicycle Built For Two
35:17 - Outro

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The logo for the Masturbate-a-Thon xD

I've literally just woken up about three minutes ago - Jimmy and I are recording the new show in about two hours, and it'll be with you later today.

First thing I do is check my phone and I see a text from my friend Emily. Jimmy sent her a text message last night, which Emily has quoted to me exactly:

"Ive oly hae 5 rinetr! L6ve u yxz!"

Turns out he was a bit drunk.

I can't wait <3

-Alex

We missed this show, two months was far too long a break - we'll announce the live show soon and then get the new series underway ^_^

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
3:53 - Jimmy's One And Only Anecdote
5:50 - A Conversation About Computers
9:05 - Flesh Fencing
10:37 - Megan's Email
19:27 - Gift Voucher Change
21:13 - Jimmy's Bike Ride
28:28 - Bric-a-brac/Outro

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The dog named Jimmy:

Matthew's ninja, named after our cheeky Australian guest:

And to finish, a couple more pics of VLR-branded currency from other nations:

The listener picture this time round is shared by two sisters, Kendall and Ashley, simply because they're cool:

Gypsies steal Jimmy's mixer; how to kill people with household tools; Alex gropes a stranger on the train; and Jimmy confesses his sexual desire for our guest host, as well as an 88-year-old woman.

It's a finale to remember.

VIVA LA VLR <3

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/A Free Spirit, Man
3:09 - Mixers; Wristbands; Racism
7:05 - Getting To The Top Of Podbean
9:33 - Gypsies
12:07 - Household Implements For Assault
15:59 - Toon-tastic!
20:36 - Toilet Seat Woman
26:01 - Ribena Interlude
26:36 - Dumpstered Food
29:22 - Accidental Train Grope
30:26 - Old People
33:37 - Survey
33:51 - Literally Underneath Us
35:48 - Emails
38:49 - A Gay Cat/Outro
42:07 - Amazing Harmony

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It's officially midnight. It's Friday. Riverbasil is gonna be recording our show in four days' time, and I still haven't got in touch with him.

Nick, if you're reading, please write in. xD

-Alex

The listener picture of the week is of Jessica, the girl that reluctantly sent in a picture of herself after I posed as Jimmy and asked for it (I'm sorry, love):

The bearded dragons named Alex and Jimmy, owned by James (Jimmy is the fat one):

And a few pictures of the VLR-branded currency:

This is the most arbitrary stream of noise ever to call itself 'radio'.

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/The Guest
1:57 - Upcoming Episodes
3:40 - Late Night Radio
4:38 - Bank Shock!
7:10 - Kelis: The Hits
9:18 - Jelly Murder, Vacuum Sex
18:16 - Religion, VLR Style
23:58 - Inebriation
24:29 - Emails
31:23 - More Emails
35:51 - Outro

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Alcohol and VLR isn't that great an idea, as I discovered to Alex's amusement last night...

I awoke this morning, aching and fuzzy eyed, trying desperately to distinguish between what I actually did last night, and what I merely dreamt... I'm pretty sure starring in ITV's hit new show, 'Dancing on Ice' was a dream, but shouting nonsense in a drafty garage alone, at near midnight, unfortunately was not. I must have looked like a boozed-up mental.

We normally record the show on a Wednesday afternoon, giving Alex Thursday to edit and upload it, but this week was special 'cause we had an Australian guest. Without spoiling the surprise too much, basically, Alex "made a boob". It turned out, as could be predicted, the time difference caused unprecedented and quite unnecessary confusion, leaving me and Alex recording at 10.30 PM last night, guest-less. Rather than rescheduling, we hastily added another episode to the 'series' (I love classing VLR as a series) and recorded regardless, with me getting surprisingly intoxicated throughout the process.

The show went well from what I can remember; discussion splintering out into even more bizarre directions than usual, slurring my way through God and morality as well as sex with inanimate objects.

Listening to it when its uploaded, will be as much a surprise to you as to me....

Oh, and don't worry if you were looking forward to us having a guest, we'll hopefully have it sorted by next episode; with the live one now being episode 13.

Jimmy.

The listener picture of the week is of Steven, and I liked it for the fact that we're literally on his iPod =)

(Courtney and Amelia came VERY close second.)

This is the Neribotica picture from the email section of VLR Ten, made by Daniel:

Charlie Cox sent in a picture of Sofa King which verifies their slogan:

And lastly, Charlie (issocoollike) made this bizarre little creation for his own pleasure, because he's mental:

Once again, Alex and Jimmy attempt to fill the vast irreverent void between coherent discussion and arsing about with a couple of microphones.

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Jimmy's Preparation
1:25 - Current Affairs
4:12 - Portugal And Upstaged
8:08 - Currency And Snapvine
11:20 - The Portability Scale
12:07 - Jimmy's Random Wikipedia Page Of The Week
16:34 - The No-Smoking German
18:50 - Steering Wheel Covers
20:06 - The Dominance Test
23:33 - You Fucking Spoon
24:53 - Emails
33:30 - Upcoming Episodes/Outro

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Our first VLR listener picture of our dear Katrina:

And Alex the dog:

WE WEREN'T RACIST AT ALL THIS SHOW!!! NOT ONCE!

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Setting High Expectations
1:10 - Partnership And Press
8:54 - Apple Customers
11:29 - Jimmy's Random Wikipedia Page Of The Week
15:00 - Paris
18:58 - Deconstructing The Rugrats
22:08 - The Breast Ramble
23:22 - Kelly Devlin's Apology
24:09 - The Astute Toddler
26:08 - Will The Airplane Man
27:02 - Other Emails
30:54 - Kerrang Radio/Outro

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This is Laura Basnight's cat, which she named Jimmy and refers to as Jimface:

Jimmy and Alex introduce games and new features to the VLR listeners in their usual haphazard and shambolic manner. Viva la VLR <3

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/A Shambles From The Start
0:58 - Email Sign-Off
5:47 - VLR's First Feature
8:14 - Tooth In A Lung
9:30 - The Game
13:25 - The Ring/Sex Toy Story
15:28 - Jimmy's Random Wikipedia Page Of The Week
21:56 - Twenty Minutes Of Emails
41:24 - Outro

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I can't believe Jimmy did this xD

This is the logo we mentioned in VLR Seven, made by Ross Frazer.

To quote Jimmy - "you look like a pirate and I look like a lesbian."

This is a slightly longer episode, because we couldn't fit all the HILARITY into just half an hour ... don't get used to it though. (viva la VLR <3)

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Flu And Literary References
1:58 - Fun New Year Plans
4:32 - The Reverse Lottery Game
9:41 - Alex's Comedy Revelation
10:44 - YouTube Frustrations
14:56 - Newspaper Articles
19:36 - Deal Or No Deal
23:09 - VLR's Guide To Children
29:37 - Jimmy's Co-Op Advice
30:37 - Emails
43:10 - Incoherence/Outro

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"Sorry, that was unprofessional."

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/A Third Person With Us
2:23 - The Christmas Hat
5:21 - Podcasts By The Fire
9:32 - Christmas Purchases/Dominic Cole
16:44 - Ratatouille
19:37 - Selflessness Explained
26:02 - iPhones And Emails
28:10 - Lady G
31:52 - Outro

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Podbean subscribers, scat porn, starving pigeons and prohibited stuffed animals. Confused? Offended? VIVA LA VLR!

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Subscribers And Guests
3:14 - Pigeon Action Group
6:53 - Christmas Shopping
13:27 - Two Girls, One Danger Wank
17:52 - eBay's Prohibited List
19:43 - Time
24:00 - Emails/Outro

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Jimmy, Alex, rape, innuendo and the elderly. Viva la VLR!

( Free Robert Stewart!! http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/FreeRobertStewart )

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Robert Stewart
2:44 - Featured Videos
4:18 - Reality TV
9:55 - The Funny Rape Story
13:25 - Ladies' Toilet Pants
14:38 - Alex's Celebrity Spotting
15:57 - Tutankhaman And Guy Fawkes
19:13 - Platform 9 And 3/4
23:17 - The Door Shop
23:52 - Emails
27:10 - Rambles/Outro

Thanks to daveyboyz!

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GOOD NEWS: To make up for the delay, this is a 45-minute show.

BAD NEWS: Alex and Jimmy talk for five and a half minutes about feet.

Viva la VLR!

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Technical Hell
1:35 - Meeting Gerard Way
6:58 - Meeting DIY Cashier
8:58 - Feet
14:20 - Bike Sex Man
17:10 - Suggestive Songs
20:25 - Mensa
28:12 - Charity Telethons
34:15 - Whore Top Trumps
42:39 - Emails/Outro

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Only Jimmy and Alex can go from the tragic accounts of Princess Diana and Madeleine McCann to talk of a transvestite in a co-op.

In under five minutes.

VIVA LA VLR! ^_^

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/Fan Reaction
2:34 - Jingles
4:40 - Alex In Australia
8:59 - Jimmy In Lanzarote
11:53 - Fruit Rockets And Fetishes
16:05 - National News
19:25 - Halloween
22:19 - The Transvestite/Outro

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Alex talks about Walkers crisps, Jimmy talks about Wispa bars, and both talk way too much about the Chuckle Brothers.

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro/The Politics Of YouTube
2:30 - Caitlin and Jimmy: The Hills
3:34 - The VLR Chuckle Brothers
4:57 - Confectionery Goods
9:23 - BNP Pigeon Policy
10:06 - London and Haslemere
15:15 - Chuckle Brothers and Panto
19:33 - Portsmouth Paranoia
20:35 - Caitlin Confessions
22:11 - YouTube Party Invite
23:49 - Lanzarote and mememolly
25:13 - Violent Nuns
25:46 - Rugby
27:09 - Renetto/Outro

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